{"id":17252,"date":"2026-06-23T17:02:53","date_gmt":"2026-06-23T17:02:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252"},"modified":"2026-06-23T17:02:53","modified_gmt":"2026-06-23T17:02:53","slug":"ai-chatbots-hit-the-dating-scene-becoming-the-lovelorns-modern-day-cyrano","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252","title":{"rendered":"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

By KAITLYN HUAMANI, AP Technology Writer<\/strong><\/p>\n

Marie Lansley recently started a new job in a new city while searching for a new partner. In her dating pursuits, the freshly minted San Franciscan said she\u2019s been \u201ctrying everything\u201d\u2014 including some help from artificial intelligence.<\/p>\n

Read more Savannah Guthrie says family remains \u2018in agony\u2019 over missing mom, begs the public for tips<\/a><\/p>\n

AI chatbots have become \u2014 for her and many others \u2014 de facto dating coaches and relationship experts.<\/p>\n

Lansley, 36, consults AI chatbots for help in starting conversations, something she said she finds difficult on dating apps despite being comfortable doing so in person. Although she\u2019s optimistic about the possibilities, she acknowledges the incongruency between the art of romance and the precision of technology.<\/p>\n

\u201cI am open to AI finding me the love of my life, but I\u2019m also not fully convinced that it can,\u201d Lansley said. \u201cAI is great at making dating more efficient. But the chemistry \u2014 that\u2019s always going to be analog.\u201d<\/p>\n

AI adopters have been using the tech in varied ways to find romance. Some patronize AI matchmaking services. Others use AI tools to help build their dating profiles. But the most common way is enlisting chatbots to draft messages to potential matches and interpret messages they receive.<\/p>\n

Lansley goes back and forth between OpenAI\u2019s ChatGPT and Anthropic\u2019s Claude. Others turn to Elon Musk and X\u2019s Grok, Google\u2019s Gemini and other chatbots. Dating apps and AI companies are leaning into it. ChatGPT and Gemini have posted content on TikTok showcasing their chatbots\u2019 customized, personality-laden relationship advice.<\/p>\n

\u201cClaude is the new Cyrano,\u201d said dating coach Carey Gaynes, referencing the 19th century French play \u201cCyrano de Bergerac\u201d in which the titular character is the brains behind another man\u2019s romantic words.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re using a voice that isn\u2019t yours.\u201d<\/p>\n

Gaynes said she has heard of daters of all ages turning to the technology, both from her client base and her following on her YouTube channel, Coffee with Carey. She sees how it could be useful in dating, but like many others, she worries about overreliance.<\/p>\n

Like the platitude used to describe many a modern dating arrangement, it\u2019s complicated when it comes to people\u2019s feelings about AI\u2019s role in romance. There\u2019s a range of excitement, resistance and skepticism.<\/p>\n

AI is writing icebreakers, offering advice and matchmaking<\/h4>\n

Lansley said she has been startled by how chatbots can appear to display emotional intelligence.<\/p>\n

\n<\/div>\n

When doing an onboarding call with the AI matchmaker on the app Known, she said the questions the bot asked went \u201cone or two levels deeper\u201d than traditional dating app questions and it seemed to be striving for empathy.<\/p>\n

It doesn\u2019t necessarily lead to better results \u2014 her first match was not a perfect fit.<\/p>\n

Mason Naung, a 25-year-old student in Los Angeles, said he doesn\u2019t use chatbots for message ideas, but could see the benefit of it for \u201cicebreakers\u201d during the early back-and-forth with someone.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been on Hinge on and off for a year or two, and sometimes I kind of struggle to think about what the opening line should be like with this girl, right?\u201d he said. But if the AI-written messages go beyond those initial exchanges, that would be a \u201csmall red flag\u201d in his mind.<\/p>\n

Just as chatbots can help start conversations, they also can help end things. Dani Cohen, a 27-year-old business owner in San Diego, said she would much rather be sent an AI-written farewell message by someone she\u2019s been on a few dates with than be \u201cghosted,\u201d or cut off without a word.<\/p>\n

\u201cObviously, in a perfect world, everyone knows exactly what they want to say and how to say it in the kindest way possible and they do that. That\u2019s not the world we live in,\u201d she said. \u201cAnything to get people to communicate, and to communicate their thoughts kindly and effectively, is great.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more The world of extreme pogo is an eye-popping blend of artistry, courage and \u2018mystical zest\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

Skepticism persists on \u2018outsourcing\u2019 love life<\/h4>\n

Several people who spoke with The Associated Press, including those who have turned to AI for dating help, expressed reservations about using the technology to help with deeply personal aspects of their life. Many adopters said they had a line they wouldn\u2019t cross when it would be inappropriate to use AI for dating.<\/p>\n

Others couldn\u2019t dream of turning to a chatbot for help with their love life at all.<\/p>\n

Clara Sullivan, a 22-year-old student in Los Angeles, said she would not reply to a potential partner if she knew they were sending her AI-written messages.<\/p>\n

\u201cI think it\u2019s really scary how reliant people are on it,\u201d Sullivan said. \u201cIt\u2019s completely gotten rid of people\u2019s ability to think creatively and on their own.\u201d<\/p>\n

Many feel the same way. A 2025 survey from the Pew Research Center found 53% of U.S. adults say AI will worsen people\u2019s ability to think creatively. Half of those polled said they feel AI will worsen people\u2019s ability to form meaningful relationships.<\/p>\n

Still, the marriage of AI with the highly lucrative dating industry was likely inescapable. Many dating apps have been integrating AI into their platforms for years.<\/p>\n

Tinder has an AI-powered feature called Chemistry that suggests profiles tailored to a user\u2019s interests. Hinge has AI-powered conversation starters and feedback tools to help build users\u2019 profiles and make interactions smooth.<\/p>\n

The founder of the app Bumble recently said the platform will soon ditch the well-known swipe feature, instead pivoting toward AI-driven matchmaking. After facing some backlash to the decision, Bumble CEO and founder Whitney Wolfe Herd wrote in a statement that said what they\u2019re building \u201cis rooted in a simple belief: technology should make love and connection feel more human, not less.\u201d<\/p>\n

Some see tradeoffs to AI\u2019s role in romance<\/h4>\n

Mohammed Nizami, 23, said he turns to AI for some things in his life, but not his dating pursuits.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re all craving for some degree of authentic connection. Certainly with your partner, you want that,\u201d he said. \u201cIf there\u2019s some filter or barrier between you and your partner or potential partner, I think that\u2019s just not a great way to start a relationship.\u201d<\/p>\n

Nizami said chatbots may not even provide the best guidance. The sycophantic nature of many chatbots, he said, might be \u201cgood for your own mental comfort\u201d but does not necessarily lead to the soundest advice.<\/p>\n

AI is likely going to play a growing role in modern dating life, despite the hesitations.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s kind of a sad commentary on the state of the world. Dating is supposed to be one of the things that cannot be replaced, right?\u201d said Jake Clay, a 30-year-old content creator in New York City. \u201cIt\u2019s kind of sad to think that something so pivotal to your life journey is being outsourced to an AI who can\u2019t understand the emotions around it.\u201d<\/p>\n

Clay did say he\u2019s been receiving fewer texts from friends asking him to decode a message from potential partners, as they now turn to chatbots.<\/p>\n

Clay wryly said he appreciates AI \u201clifting the load\u201d there but also called the situation a \u201cCatch-22\u201d since it\u2019s \u201ccircumventing some of the normal processes in life that I feel like should be a little bit more sacred.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read more How Brexit broke British politics<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

AI adopters have been enlisting chatbots to draft messages to potential matches and interpret messages they receive while dating.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":17251,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43,2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17252","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-based-on-facts-either-observed-and-verified-directly-by-the-reporter-or-reported-and-verified-from-knowledgeable-sources","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\nAI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano - Silicon Valley Moving Post<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano - Silicon Valley Moving Post\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"AI adopters have been enlisting chatbots to draft messages to potential matches and interpret messages they receive while dating.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Silicon Valley Moving Post\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-06-23T17:02:53+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"admin\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"6 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"admin\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/636e2e5a10a21cf87fe6eb5951e8a6b7\"},\"headline\":\"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-23T17:02:53+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252\"},\"wordCount\":1250,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/06\\\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp\",\"articleSection\":[\"Based on facts, either observed and verified directly by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources.\",\"News\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252\",\"name\":\"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano - Silicon Valley Moving Post\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/06\\\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-06-23T17:02:53+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/636e2e5a10a21cf87fe6eb5951e8a6b7\"},\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/06\\\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2026\\\/06\\\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp\",\"width\":1024,\"height\":682},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?p=17252#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/\",\"name\":\"Silicon Valley Moving Post\",\"description\":\"\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/636e2e5a10a21cf87fe6eb5951e8a6b7\",\"name\":\"admin\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/secure.gravatar.com\\\/avatar\\\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"admin\"},\"sameAs\":[\"http:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\\\/?author=1\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano - Silicon Valley Moving Post","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano - Silicon Valley Moving Post","og_description":"AI adopters have been enlisting chatbots to draft messages to potential matches and interpret messages they receive while dating.","og_url":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252","og_site_name":"Silicon Valley Moving Post","article_published_time":"2026-06-23T17:02:53+00:00","author":"admin","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"admin","Est. reading time":"6 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252"},"author":{"name":"admin","@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/636e2e5a10a21cf87fe6eb5951e8a6b7"},"headline":"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano","datePublished":"2026-06-23T17:02:53+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252"},"wordCount":1250,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp","articleSection":["Based on facts, either observed and verified directly by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources.","News"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252","url":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252","name":"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano - Silicon Valley Moving Post","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp","datePublished":"2026-06-23T17:02:53+00:00","author":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/636e2e5a10a21cf87fe6eb5951e8a6b7"},"breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp","contentUrl":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/206751d7c35a8b59a9bdb76cc76a85c4.webp","width":1024,"height":682},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?p=17252#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"AI chatbots hit the dating scene, becoming the lovelorn\u2019s modern-day Cyrano"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/","name":"Silicon Valley Moving Post","description":"","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/#\/schema\/person\/636e2e5a10a21cf87fe6eb5951e8a6b7","name":"admin","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/50b1ad2e498f523425ee0a8cc5180a210646db1622662a3d56cc405d3e0c346a?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"admin"},"sameAs":["http:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com"],"url":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/?author=1"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17252","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17252"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17252\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/17251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17252"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17252"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/siliconvalleymovingpost.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17252"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}