By Shaun Tumpane
Laguna Woods Globe columnist
How many inanimate objects can you name that can conjure intense emotions? On the sunny side of life, several come to mind.
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For example, an engagement ring, held by the shaking hands of a guy on one knee who’s about to propose, or a Christmas card from a long lost friend, or driving home in that brand-new shiny steel chariot that you’ve been lusting over for years.
While we’re on the subject of cars and emotions, what is it about a car that, when virtually anyone slides behind the wheel, even the mildest mannered among us, can morph us into the devil himself?
Most of us guys have been raised to open doors for ladies, stand when they enter a room, take their coats and pull out a chair for them.
Now, have one of those same ladies dare to pull into your lane in front of you, getting closer to your car than you thought safe and appropriate. What happens? Well, leaning on one’s horn is a tried and true method of relieving some anxiety, with the longer you honk the better you feel.
Sometimes, the offending motorist will engage you with some nonverbal banter, such as the ever-popular pumping of the brakes as if he/she had his/her machine wink at your machine.
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Another nonverbal response to this despicable road hog is the use of sign language aka the California Howdy or the bird, flippin’ it, flickin’ it or just plain givin’ it. This generally eventuates into a series of back and forth hand gestures, in many cases accompanied by each person questioning the other’s heritage and legitimacy.
Occasionally, some nitwit will play chicken with the offending lane changer, get in front of him or her, and stop the car in the middle of the road to continue with verbal and nonverbal critique of the offender’s driving skills.
Road rage is a 20th-21st century malady. They didn’t have road rage in the Old West, and there’s a simple reason for that. Everybody was armed.
I don’t mean to say that there weren’t any shouting matches when a horse-drawn carriage cut off a wrangler just coming off the range after driving the herd all the way from Dodge City and looking for some well-earned R&R.
However, in my unscientific research, it is apparent that most altercations ended up with one or more antagonists making a one-way trip to Boot Hill. Repeat offenders were a scarcity in places like Tombstone, Arizona, and Deadwood, South Dakota.
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Today, hardly any road ragers end up in Forest Lawn. That’s a good thing, right?
– Shaun Tumpane is a Laguna Woods Village resident.